If you have enough patience, you will find the exact thing you want at the thrift shop.
Sure, it might take three or four years, but don’t let anyone convince you it’s just not available. I’m being a bit facetious, obviously, because you don’t always have half a decade to find the clothing item that fills a hole in your closet. But when it comes to vintage, high waist denim, there’s really no replacement for the real thing, and the online vintage market is currently pricing them around $100, so I figured it was worth it to wait patiently.
These finally showed up at the shop where I work, crumpled up on the floor of the dressing room (apparently they didn’t work out for that person). I figured I might as well try them on before putting them back on the rack and, lo and behold, they fit!
I should qualify that last statement: they fit when I’m standing up.
The thick cotton denim and total lack of stretch means these are almost intolerable to sit in, and don’t even think about eating in them. I’m trying to figure out if this is an accepted part of the mom jeans experience, or if I just have a really low tolerance for things that pinch. In any case, I guess I’ll be wearing these on days when I’m standing most of the time, and totally avoiding them when I’m going out to dinner. For $4.00, my cost-per-wear will still be quite low.
In other news, I splurged on this pair of slip on shoes for my upcoming 29th birthday. Not perfectly ethical, but they are made in a regulated family factory and made to order, so less waste is produced.